Not Your Usual Birthday Reflection

Dear Reader,

It’s beginning to feel as though my days are running into each other, and with that, each year seems to feel more slippery. It’s no surprise, then, that I’ve taken to falling off the calendar. You might expect a more enthusiastic post to mark such an occasion, but this is not your usual birthday reflection. I suppose you could say I’m unpacking some of my traumas, because moments like these force me to sit with the fact that celebrations often miss the mark and have evolved into vanity projects—a poignant reminder of life’s superficiality. This year, in the midst of cake and candles, I found myself pondering the deeper significance of these festivities. Are we truly celebrating milestones, marking time with fanfare, or are we finding distractions that keep us from embracing our reality?

Growing up, I never held high regard for any festivity, birthdays included. They always felt daunting. Maybe it was the fact that I hated being the centre of attention—the idea of people proving their love with gifts or offering affection out of social expectation. Maybe it was my practical, frugal nature and the pressure to match the effort. Either way, celebrations never mattered much to me, and I never felt the need to participate in lavishness.

And it's not to suggest that these festivities lack meaning; they matter in what they represent. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful for the experiences I’m encountering in my life, either. I've simply found myself torn between staying mainstream for the sake of the people I love, and withdrawing—not chasing vanity, not proving, not showing up just to fit a narrative.

To me, what matters is presence, and I’d like to think my people subconsciously know that, even though they sometimes make every effort to extend themselves. Bless their hearts. Hearing well-wishes, being remembered with words of affirmation, encouragement, or positive energy is enough. A simple “thinking of you” message always works, and maybe that’s part of my “why” today.

For years, I've held onto the belief that it’s the thought that counts, even without anything tangible, but it’s clear that people don’t share the same moral compass; our brains and emotions are wired differently, so what I value may feel meaningless to someone else and vice versa. The way I see it, every day is important, and I celebrate in my own seemingly misunderstood way. So I’ve decided to accept the things I can’t change—like tradition—and live in the moments as they come, even if they aren’t personally ideal.

The point of celebrating life, then, becomes not just about marking another year with another performative ritual, but about acknowledging the beauty of our impermanence with the people who truly know us and will remember us. I suppose it's fine to do both.

Ultimately, each birthday reminds us that we’re one step closer to our inevitable end, and that realization is both sobering and motivating. My recent birthday has inspired me to seek even more depth and significance in my experiences, while also recognizing—and accepting—the vanity that often accompanies it. It invited me to live intentionally and cherish what matters most to each of us, whatever that may look like.

With grace,

🌿

As an author and seeker, I’m passionate about the ever-evolving journey of self-discovery. Through my writing, I share lessons, experiences and reflections on growth and transformation—inviting others to explore along the way.

Here’s to striking the balance, unearthing truth and embracing the authentic self.

Let's Evolve Together.

Jebu Vivet

Founder of E.I.R.E.

#Empowered #Inspired #Resilient #Evolved